To be kind! It’s something that I’m sure all of us hear from time to time? But perhaps for most of us we view kindness as something that we are to others rather than to ourselves. It’s important to be kind to others, to offer a helping hand, to put that other person before ourselves isn’t it? But why can some of us not do that for ourselves?
I work with a lot of clients who suffer from low self confidence and low self esteem. One area that is always highlighted is their negative self talk, using terms such as ‘I’ll never amount to anything’, ‘I’m not smart enough’, ‘I’m not skinny enough’ or ‘I’m not liked or loved’, I could go on but I’m sure you get my point.
This negative self talk keeps their lack of confidence and low self esteem high on a pedestal effectively feeding it like a pet! Initially a small animal but before long this small pet has turned into a giant house guest who hasn’t been toilet trained and this pet’s s**t is taking over the life of the one that desperately needs to be told ‘you are worthy’.
So ‘to be kind’ should really start with you, to be able to change that negative self talk into a more realistic and kinder alternative. Perhaps the next time you think of telling yourself ‘I’m not good enough’ it should really be ‘I am a good person and I am good enough’.
I work with people that compare themselves to others, more often than not focusing on how their friends or family members may be better looking, slimmer/muscular or can juggle a busy career and family life and still have time for themselves! But their time is spent on focusing on what they aren’t, they forget to celebrate who they truly are, the areas of their life that they do have together it may not be their vision of perfection but I can guarantee someone somewhere will view it as perfection.
To be kind should really start with ourselves, because to know kindness we need to be able to come from a true place of kindness, and that can only come from knowing that we deserve great things to happen to us also.
So when you are next listening to that internal self talk ask yourself this question ‘is this a kind thing to hear?’ and if the answer is ‘no’ accept that it will not help you and ask it to leave because you have decided that only kindness is ever going to help you move forward positively.
This will also help you in how you are treated by others, if it’s not kind then you will distance yourself from it knowing that you deserve to be treated kindly, helping you to move away from negative relationships and friendships knowing that you deserve better.
A first step in ‘being kind’ to yourself is to take some time out to unwind and relax, a perfect way of doing this is to learn basic relaxation techniques.
If you would like all the work done for you and just have to hit the play button and close your eyes, then I offer a blissful 15 minute relaxation MP3 which will not only help you switch off for those 15 minutes but it will help you with your sleep pattern as well as helping you to feel more relaxed in your day to day life to.
For a short period you can use the code ‘relax1’ in the checkout so instead of paying £6.99 for the download it will be £3.50.